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Even when I was a young boy, I knew that it was the editorials and opinion pieces that my dad liked reading.
As Bill Engvall says, "I'm still waiting for that VW Bus full of cheerleaders to show up."

A burglar broke in to a home and discovered images of child pornography displayed on the monitor of the homeowner's computer.
The burglar video taped the monitor containing the offensive images, left the video camera on the steps of a church, along with a note detailing the video contents and the address from which the camera was stolen.
Following the address printed on the burglar's note, police seized computer equipment containing 13,315 pornographic images.
The burglary is still unsolved.
Considering what the burglar did, if I were in charge of the burglary case, I would just kind of let ...